Everything hurts, and I'm dying...literally!

  This week my daughter lost her first 2 teeth. She was thrilled that the tooth fairy would come, I was thrilled that I could be her toothfairy. Parents are always proud when their children have a first anything, as they should be. But when you know you will likely miss out on most of those firsts it means even more to witness them. In 2018 I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer metastasized to the bone, I was told it was terminal and that I had 3-5 years. With a newborn and a 2 yr old I was devastated at the thought of them growing up without me. The thought of all the things I would miss out on broke my heart, and still does. But, I got to be the toothfairy twice this week. I got to hear the excitement in her voice, see the joy in her eyes. It's these moments shared that I cherish.

 And just like that, we snap to our new normal! After 4 months of being home all together, last week my husband went back to work and the kids started back at daycare. I have to say, the quarantine came at a good time, I was in a dark place prior to that, in a lot of pain and not enjoying being home alone. The quarantine was good for us, good for me, it's what I needed.  When I was diagnosed with terminal metastatic bone cancer I imagined dropping everything to live out all the dreams we had for our family. You know, the things we dreamed of doing "someday", the cross Canada trips, seeing the northern lights...reality is that we can't just drop everything and live out our dreams, but quarantine was pretty close. We may not have travelled but we did get to spend ALL day, everyday together and that time was precious.  But let's be honest, it was also exhausting and now that we are back to a new normal this Mama is ready to take some time for herself.  As we all SNAP