Everything hurts, and I'm dying...literally!

Have you seen the drawings by Gary Andrews, depicting life with his kids after his wife's death? If not Google him, or check some of them out here: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-45893376 They are touching and heartbreaking, and beautiful, and every time I see them I cry. I can't help but see Mike, Ellie and Aiden in his drawings. A glimpse at what they will live when I'm gone. The first time I saw his drawings I really identified with his empty couch. We have a big comfy couch and I love to sit with Mike after the kids are asleep, or read bedtime stories to the kids, when I'm alone I snuggle the pets (shhhhh! Don't tell Mike I let the dog on the couch ;) ). Will my widowed husband feel sad sitting on our big couch all by himself? Will my empty seat make my kids sad? These are the things I think of and Mr. Andrews' drawings illustrate my worries so well. But they also provide reassurance that with time my family will be ok. They wil...

Hi friends! Forgive the hiatus, recovering from surgery, preparing for the holidays, finish it up with a bunch of visiting and barely staying awake past midnight, time just flew by. Now here we are, two weeks into 2020! So what will this year bring for the Tonkin family? Mommy gets to take a girls trip for a dear friends birthday. Our 10yr wedding anniversary this June (my wish has always been to stay at Château Lake Louise to celebrate...a girl can dream!) Aiden turns 2, Ellie will be 5. It's year 2 of a 3-5 yr diagnosis (let's hope for 5 or more) A lot has happened since my last post, I've started a new chemo (still every 3 weeks) and a new bone medication. I have a CT at the end of the month to see if this new regimen is working. Also new is that I will now have CT's to monitor the cancer, as the bone scans didn't seem to pick up on new tumors or growing tumors (the theory is that there are just to many tumors close together, on a bone scan it just lo...