Everything hurts, and I'm dying...literally!

Aloha I loved Hawaii! What a great get away, with a wonderful group of women. What's not to love? Sunshine, lush scenery, good food, hot tubs and pools, it was an amazing vacation. How nice it was to take care of just me for a week. Nana and Papa kept Aiden while I was away. Daddy and Ellie spent some quality time together. It worked out perfectly. Feel the warmth hile in Hawaii I saw lots of families with small kids, and I started thinking about planning a family vacation. Where would we go? Hawaii was nice but I don't think 12+ hours of travel would be my first choice. What would we do for fun? We would have to find a destination that has activities for toddlers and preschoolers. Of course Walt Disney World comes to mind, it would be perfect, but that's a tad pricey.  If anyone has ideas of where to go for a fun family vacation with 2 young children let me know in the comments. Ohana This got me thinking, there should be a "make a wish" typ...

As I walked around the house this morning making sure everything was tidy and clean before my time away, I caught myself smiling at these two adorable little faces staring back at me. Oh how I love them! And I'm going to miss them so. Not just for the next ten days while I'm away with great friends, but when I'm gone. OK, I know, I won't really miss them because I'll be dead, but I'll miss not missing them (if that makes sense). My heart breaks when I think about all the things I won't see or do with them. All the firsts I will miss, all the stories I won't get to share, snuggles we won't have, all of it! I'll miss it all when I'm dead. Thinking of it makes me miss it, even now! I'll even miss the hard days, you now, the ones that require ALL the coffee! Yes, I will miss it all when I'm dead. But for the next ten days I think I'll just miss their cute faces, I can do without the stress for a few!  Time to get ready...

...there is light. While I do have new tumors growing I am also lucky to have a great team of health care practitioners looking after me. Unlike some, since my cancer is triple positive (ER, PR, HER2) I have more treatment options as well. I am also lucky that the surgery on my leg seems to have helped and in a week I will be on vacation with some of my greatest friends, celebrating a very important birthday. So, as hard as it can be, search for the light in the dark, remember the rainbow after the storm. Kadcyla, cycle 3 The Rainbow (car wash version) My clown, complete with babybel nose!