I'll miss missing you

As I walked around the house this morning making sure everything was tidy and clean before my time away, I caught myself smiling at these two adorable little faces staring back at me.


Oh how I love them! And I'm going to miss them so. Not just for the next ten days while I'm away with great friends, but when I'm gone. OK, I know, I won't really miss them because I'll be dead, but I'll miss not missing them (if that makes sense). My heart breaks when I think about all the things I won't see or do with them. All the firsts I will miss, all the stories I won't get to share, snuggles we won't have, all of it! I'll miss it all when I'm dead. Thinking of it makes me miss it, even now! I'll even miss the hard days, you now, the ones that require ALL the coffee!


Yes, I will miss it all when I'm dead. But for the next ten days I think I'll just miss their cute faces, I can do without the stress for a few! 

Time to get ready now #KauaiHawaii here we come!

Comments

  1. Melissa BrinklowFebruary 11, 2020 at 6:03 AM

    Have the BEST time!!! Can't wait to hear all about it!! Safe travels ❤️

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Moments Shared

Image
  This week my daughter lost her first 2 teeth. She was thrilled that the tooth fairy would come, I was thrilled that I could be her toothfairy. Parents are always proud when their children have a first anything, as they should be. But when you know you will likely miss out on most of those firsts it means even more to witness them. In 2018 I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer metastasized to the bone, I was told it was terminal and that I had 3-5 years. With a newborn and a 2 yr old I was devastated at the thought of them growing up without me. The thought of all the things I would miss out on broke my heart, and still does. But, I got to be the toothfairy twice this week. I got to hear the excitement in her voice, see the joy in her eyes. It's these moments shared that I cherish.
Read more

Good body

Image
Self love selfie I had a revelation today, I've seen this "every body is a good body" thing, and it's had me thinking about body image. For my daughter's  sake (and my son) I point out how amazing bodies are, like that mine grew two babies. But if I'm being honest I've had a lot of trouble feeling many positive things towards my body. Let's face it, this body isn't scoring high on functionality, it's not as thin or beautiful as it once was, 40 lbs later and a bunch more scars, this menopausal vessel is not what I pictured for myself at the "ripe old age" of 32! But today I realized despite all that, that my body is keeping me alive through stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, allowing me more time with my loved ones, so I think maybe it is a good body. On top of that, even with the many bone tumors, I still healed successfully from a second hip surgery.  You see that? Even the bodies that kill you prematurely are good bodies. We
Read more

A nightmares dream

Image
We are back home now after 6 days in the big city of Toronto. When we left we thought we were just going for 3 days and we talked about how nice it would be to have some time to ourselves. We joked about what a dream it would be to sleep through the night, eat a meal uninterrupted, and perhaps the simplest joy, just to be able to talk to each other.  We had a good chuckle at the irony of our "dream" getaway, since the pretense was a tumor growing in my left eye. My husband and I have learned to find some humor in our nightmare situation. After meeting the oncologist at Princess Margaret Hospital and learning that he would start radiation right away I felt relieved that treatments wouldn't be delayed any further but I also felt guilty leaving my kids (3 & 1) for 6 days, the longest we've ever left them. Thank goodness for moms/ nanas! Six days away from the kids was admittedly a very nice break, sleep being my favourite  part.  We got to live the dream, even if it
Read more