Real time
Ok, this is about to get real, it may seem dark to some of you (fair warning) but I've got to get this out there.
I was 23 years old the first time I as diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma of the left breast. I had been married just six months. I knew I wanted children for sure, but not right away. Doctors were great and advised me that if I wanted to have kids in the future I should preserve my embryos before starting treatment, which we did (I'm an ocotomom 🤣). And my oncologist did mention that IF my cancer ever came back it would not be treatable, and yes I was told choosing to have kids would be a risk that I assume.
But here's the thing, at no point in my mind did I make a connection between not treatable and terminal. I just figured someday, when I was old, if it came back I would just have a double mastectomy, a hysterectomy/oophorectomy and be done with it. It wouldn't matter anyway because I'd be older, I'd be done nursing my kids, I'd probably be close to menopausal anyway.
When I was told having kids was a risk I only thought of the possibility that pregnancy might provide the right hormones to make my cancer grow, but even that didn't seem likely in my mind and I sure didn't think about dying and leaving behind 2 small kids.
It seems silly now but I never imagined this would be my reality. Noone ever used the word "terminal" when explaining risks.
Not a single person told me that a recurrence would likely happen young, in my mind it was only something that might happen once I was older, retirement age.
Would I have chosen to NOT have kids? Unlikely. For myself it had always been almost like a calling, a need, a void to be filled. But I may have planned things differently.
So at a time when more young women are being diagnosed shouldn't there be some serious counselling involved?
Words matter, hearing a doctor say 'if you're cancer returns it will be terminal" would have hit me harder than "it won't be treatable". Hearing a doctor say my cancer could likely return in the next 10 years, while I'm still young, and my kids are young, would have painted a very different picture in my mind. I've also learned since having metastatic bone cancer, that breast cancer is one of the most common cancers that spreads to the bone, being told this might have made is clearer that a recurrence wouldn't just be a local "nothing" thing.
I hope that everyone diagnosed with cancer receives all the information they need in a clear manner. I especially hope that young women diagnosed are better counselled on the risks, recurrences, etc. And I hope they hear words like "terminal" if it applies.
I was 23 years old the first time I as diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma of the left breast. I had been married just six months. I knew I wanted children for sure, but not right away. Doctors were great and advised me that if I wanted to have kids in the future I should preserve my embryos before starting treatment, which we did (I'm an ocotomom 🤣). And my oncologist did mention that IF my cancer ever came back it would not be treatable, and yes I was told choosing to have kids would be a risk that I assume.
But here's the thing, at no point in my mind did I make a connection between not treatable and terminal. I just figured someday, when I was old, if it came back I would just have a double mastectomy, a hysterectomy/oophorectomy and be done with it. It wouldn't matter anyway because I'd be older, I'd be done nursing my kids, I'd probably be close to menopausal anyway.
When I was told having kids was a risk I only thought of the possibility that pregnancy might provide the right hormones to make my cancer grow, but even that didn't seem likely in my mind and I sure didn't think about dying and leaving behind 2 small kids.
 |
| Glitter nails! |
 |
| Big boy haircut |
Not a single person told me that a recurrence would likely happen young, in my mind it was only something that might happen once I was older, retirement age.
Would I have chosen to NOT have kids? Unlikely. For myself it had always been almost like a calling, a need, a void to be filled. But I may have planned things differently.
So at a time when more young women are being diagnosed shouldn't there be some serious counselling involved?
Words matter, hearing a doctor say 'if you're cancer returns it will be terminal" would have hit me harder than "it won't be treatable". Hearing a doctor say my cancer could likely return in the next 10 years, while I'm still young, and my kids are young, would have painted a very different picture in my mind. I've also learned since having metastatic bone cancer, that breast cancer is one of the most common cancers that spreads to the bone, being told this might have made is clearer that a recurrence wouldn't just be a local "nothing" thing.
I hope that everyone diagnosed with cancer receives all the information they need in a clear manner. I especially hope that young women diagnosed are better counselled on the risks, recurrences, etc. And I hope they hear words like "terminal" if it applies.
Comments
Post a Comment