Sitting, waiting, wishing.
I realized today just how much of my life now revolves around sitting and waiting, for a test, for chemo, for a consult, for surgery, for follow-up. So much of the past year and a half since I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer has involved sitting and waiting, and wishing. Wishing this wasn't happening to my sweet little family, wishing our "vacation" was under better circumstances, wishing that 2 minute appointment had been done over the phone.
All this wasted time is ironic considering I've been given 3-5 years to live, my time is precious! And yet I sit and wait, and wish, on a monthly basis (every 3 weeks at least). Perhaps even more so since I live in rural northern Ontario. Today, for example, I had an MRI for which I had to travel an hour and a half away from my home. They tell you to show up 20 minutes early, but as usual they ran almost an hour late. The test took an hour and then I had the hour and a half drive back home. I cut it close too
, making it home only 20 minutes before Ellie's school bus. Good thing the weather was ok and there weren't any unexpected delays!
Up until last month I at least had my husband to accompany me, but now he's back at work and the kids are at school and daycare so I sit and wait by myself. And I wish I didn't have to. I wish our health care system was more efficient, wish my local hospital could offer all the services I need, I wish less of my time was spent sitting, waiting.
It may not be the worst thing a cancer patient has to endure, but it is one thing we could do without. At least these northern hospital waiting rooms have beautiful scenery out the windows ( silver lining).
All this wasted time is ironic considering I've been given 3-5 years to live, my time is precious! And yet I sit and wait, and wish, on a monthly basis (every 3 weeks at least). Perhaps even more so since I live in rural northern Ontario. Today, for example, I had an MRI for which I had to travel an hour and a half away from my home. They tell you to show up 20 minutes early, but as usual they ran almost an hour late. The test took an hour and then I had the hour and a half drive back home. I cut it close too
Up until last month I at least had my husband to accompany me, but now he's back at work and the kids are at school and daycare so I sit and wait by myself. And I wish I didn't have to. I wish our health care system was more efficient, wish my local hospital could offer all the services I need, I wish less of my time was spent sitting, waiting.
It may not be the worst thing a cancer patient has to endure, but it is one thing we could do without. At least these northern hospital waiting rooms have beautiful scenery out the windows ( silver lining).
 |
| Fall colours |
Comments
Post a Comment